


The Request That Ties Us Together

by ModernBookFae



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 02:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10755171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernBookFae/pseuds/ModernBookFae
Summary: Cassian feels incapable after Nesta defended him at the Illyrian camps. Now that they are back at the House of Wind Cassian struggles to deal with his doubts of his own strength. The fact that he can’t even tie his hair back without being in pain is only adding to the fire. That is until someone needs his help.And he’s not about to say no to Nesta’s request.





	The Request That Ties Us Together

It hurt. Everything felt in pain. Cassian sat on his bed with shoulders hunched over. Eyes staring mournfully out the window where the sky was clear and bright.

 

Taunting him. For his wings were a mess and he was currently no better than a caged bird. He hated it. Not being able to answer the wind’s call. Or feeling the way his body soared through the air as if it was second nature.

 

Even his troops began whispering behind his back. Staring in horror at the bandages and knowing that underneath the white gauze there were shredded wings that may never be healed.

 

Cassian showed them that he could still take them with on with brute strength and the magic that channeled into his siphons. Match after match he took down any soldiers that tried to usurp him. After hours of fighting for the days he began to feel his strength waning.

 

And that’s when she stepped in.

 

Nesta sliced into each warrior with words that made them pause and reconsider challenging the Commander. And when one warrior still tried to pick a fight, Nesta volunteered in Cassian’s place. She won. Easily pummeling the male and giving every other Illyrian a stormy look that boded wrath for anyone that dared to step forward.

 

It pissed Cassian off. Not that Nesta dealt punishment to the warriors. They deserved that and more with the way they treated her early that week claiming she was nothing, but a weak female. Of course they were swiftly proven wrong.

 

But it was the fact that Nessian defended Cassian that bothered him. Made the self-loathing he felt increase with every punch, snarl and biting remark she said in his defense.

 

 _He_ should be the one protecting _her_. That was the promise he made. One that he still hadn’t been able to keep.

 

He was supposed to be stronger than that. Strong enough to spare Nesta from the pain of being tossed into the Cauldron and from the upcoming war.

 

_He failed her._

Cassian rubbed his palms over his eyes trying to calm himself. Attempt to dampen the burning rage that was about to send him to a dark place in his mind he didn’t want to think about.

 

To distract himself he reached for the leather band on his bedside table. A strong gust of wind from Velaris blew into his room at the House of Wind causing his long hair to brush softly across his shoulders. His intention was to tie up his hair and train. Work off some steam that had been building ever since he and Nesta returned from the camps.

 

His hand grasped the brown leather band, but as he pulled his arms back to tie it up his shoulders stung and in a gasping breath Cassian quickly dropped his arms. His wings quivered in aftershocks of pain.

 

It became evident that Cassian wouldn’t even be able to lift his arms. The pain was worse today than it usually had been. Probably from all the previous battles he fought at camp.

 

With a frustrated shout Cassian threw the leather band onto his bed and rubbed a hand across his face. Trying to stay calm even though his emotions were far from it.

 

A knock at the door was his only warning before he turned around to see Nesta opening the door and striding in as if this was her room and not his.

 

“What is it?” Cassian growled. It wasn’t a threat. He simply didn’t want her to see him like this. In such a weak position that he couldn’t even tie his own damn hair up.

 

She watched him closely for a moment before slowly closing the distance between her and him. As if she was nervous that he would order her away.

 

“I need your help.” She stopped at the foot of the bed. Her eyes taking in the scene before her. She glanced between the leather strap and Cassian with her brow slightly raised.

 

“You seem capable of being able to help yourself recently,” Cassian replied with less bite than before. He was proud that Nesta was becoming stronger both physically and mentally. It was only just before their trip that she asked to come along and be part of the training process. She wanted to assist them. And she wanted to do so with Cassian.

 

Nesta blinked before looking out the window to consider her next words. She was biting the inside of her cheek. Cassian could tell that she always did that when she was either nervous or holding something back she wanted to say.

 

“Never mind then,” she turned back to face the door. Turning her back to Cassian. “It was a silly request. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

 

And from the tone of her words Cassian could tell that something was bothering her. He quickly wrapped his hand around her wrist to stop her from leaving. He kept his face clear of the pain his shoulders felt at the movement, but Nesta’s eyes flickered to them. A flash of worry and then her eyes were steel again.

“I’m sorry Nesta,” Cassian apologized. “It’s just- I don’t mean to make light of whatever is troubling you. And I didn’t mean to sound angry toward you as well.”

 

“Are you mad at me?” Nesta asked. She twisted her body around to face him yet she didn’t pry her wrist from his grip that had gentled as soon as he halted her.

 

“No,” Cassian chuckled though it lacked the usual mirth. “I’m not mad at you. Which is surprising considering we are usually infuriating each other every other day.”

 

Nesta nodded. That was true. If anything she was glad that hadn’t changed after her transformation it was that Cassian still teased her on occasion. In some way she clung to his playful actions as though is was the only thing keeping her anchored to sanity.

 

“Then what’s wrong?” Nesta moved and found herself sitting on the bed beside him. “I know I’m not soft like Elain or optimistic as Mor, but I can promise you Cassian that I’ll not give you sugar coated words. That much you should know by now.”

 

Cassian almost laughed. Nesta was definitely not Elain or Mor. He was thankful for that. And for that reason he too wasn’t going to lie and hedge around the situation.

 

“That’s the problem,” Cassian said. “A promise. Because I made you a promise Nesta that I broke and haven’t been able to salvage. If anything you’re the one protecting me when it should have been me protecting you in the first place.”

 

“You’re talking about what happened at the camps?” Nesta narrowed her eyes in confusion.

 

Cassian said nothing. He simply looked away from her eyes that searched for an answer. But Nesta understood his silent admission.

 

“Cassian,” her free hand held his that had loosened from her wrist. His callouses scraped across her skin and she found herself enjoying the touch perhaps too much for her own good. Though she would never admit it aloud.

 

“ _Cassian_ ,” she repeated until he finally looked at her with those hazel eyes she had come to anticipate either brightening in laughter or joy. Except now they were dull with contained sorrow.

 

“I defended you,” Nesta explained. “Because you’re my friend. My ally. And perhaps one day you could see me as an equal instead of being ashamed that someone weaker than you wanted to stand up for what they believe is right and protect those they care for.”

 

“I’m not ashamed of you,” Cassian said with a shake of his head. “I’m disappointed in my own weakness. You’re the one that’s strong Nesta.”

“But so are you,” Nesta fiercely replied. “We each have strengths and weaknesses that are unique to one person. Don’t be ashamed, because right now you think you’re weak if you lack the wings to fly. _Become_ stronger, because of it. Don’t let this one thing ruin who you are Cassian.”

 

At that Cassian stopped breathing for a moment and his eyes shot to her. His grip tightened a fraction. His eyes were filled with something Nesta was unsure of how to describe. It was a mixture of emotions she couldn’t keep up with.

 

Surprise. Happiness. Nervousness.

 

One after another they flickered in his eyes until one clear emotion stood out.

 

_Want._

Or perhaps need would be a better term to describe the look he gave her.

 

Nesta glanced to the she sat on. Afraid that perhaps Cassian saw something in her gaze that she wanted to tuck close to her heart where it was hidden behind walls where no one could reach or hurt.

 

She saw the leather band on the sheets that Cassian had discarded earlier. Her fingers lifted up the worn material and looked back to Cassian who still was staring at her in barely concealed awe and shock.

 

Nesta coughed lightly before focusing on the main objective that brought her here.

 

“So will you help me?” Nesta asked.

 

Cassian blinked and was brought back to reality. “Oh sure whatever you need I’ll be glad to help.”

 

“Good now turn around so I can practice braiding with your hair,” Nesta moved to sit behind Cassian who gave her a bewildered look.

 

“You came to me for help about hair styling?” Cassian couldn’t believe it, but the moment Nesta began running her fingers through his hair all thoughts flew from his mind. He immediately relaxed into her touch as she combed out his dark strands and began braiding.

 

Nesta was usually swift with fixing hair into the style she intended. She had enough practice since her teen years when she braided both Elain and Feyre’s hair. That was the only thing the sister’s bonded over until Feyre learned how to braid her own hair.

 

The style was simple and perhaps one of the easiest to do. Nesta could have braided Cassian’s hair in mere minutes, but she made sure to draw out their time together. Taking the time to run her fingers a few extra time through his hair just for good measure. And perhaps pleasure.

 

For Cassian was enjoying this. His head tilted back to give her more access as she wove the divided portions into little braids that wrapped around to the back.

 

It made Nesta pleased to see Cassian momentarily let go of his worries. And found an even greater satisfaction knowing that it was _her_ causing him to unwind.

 

She even claimed that he moved too much as she was trying to braid so she had to redo it again from the start. Even though Cassian remained still the entire time, but he didn’t argue with her. He was simply content to have her continue running those nimble and soothing fingers in his hair again.

 

When Nesta slipped the braids together into the leather strap she leaned back to inspect her work. The braids were perfect and perhaps a bit more on the feminine side with the intricacy, but for some reason it made Cassian appealing in a way Nesta had tried to avoid seeing.

 

Cassian stood up and went to look at himself in the mirror. He turned his head in multiple directions and whistled in appreciation.

 

“I should have you do my hair more often if these are the results!” Cassian smiled broadly at Nesta whose cheeks reddened slightly at the compliment.

 

“If you would like,” Nesta said and paused before gathering courage to continue. “I can come back and style it tomorrow.”

 

Cassian’s heart thudded in his chest.

 

“And the next day?” He asked.

 

“For however long you want me,” Nesta replied with such honesty that it made the air between them shake in anticipation. Waiting for what was to come next.

 

“Then I don’t think you’ll ever be rid of me,” Cassian chuckled lightly and his eyes lit up with hope that Nesta couldn’t help but to gravitate toward.

 

She stood up from the bed. Giving him a small upturn of the lips in a smile that was rarely seen. “I guess it’s a good thing I can deal with your cocky attitude or else this long fae existence would drag on in boredom.”

 

And with a parting humorous glint in her eye she left his room. Only to return the following days that turned to weeks as their bond strengthened and their hearts seemingly melded into one synchronized beat.

 

Fire and Steel.

 

Forging something so strong that nothing could shatter it. A shining thread that tied them together.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to comment or join in the Nessian ship on [tumblr](http://modernbookfae.tumblr.com)!


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